i'm learning to adjust to the churchlife in north shore, but i'm finding this very difficult. i miss my companions, Lord. i really miss my companions. i'm not going to hide my emotions anymore. i miss them so much. n i don't know what it means to be affectionate yet restricted. i'm trying, but it is very tiring. i can't make it anymore. i don't know how to. i dont' know what it means. i can't, Lord. i don't know how to.

 

praise You Lord. You r everything. i am nothing. You r the great I am.

 

I'm so tired of being strong. i hv never been strong. i dn't knw how to be strong. n i was only deceived to think tht i was strong in any way. i hv always been weak. i hv never been able to mk it on my own.

 

He makes me lie down on the green pasture. He leads me beside waters of rest.

 

I thought i was resting, but now, i'm really resting.

 

i'll terminate myself, remain on the cross, n let the churchlife be. i shdn't compare the churchlife in dunedin to the church in north shore. we were young, we were living, we were buoyant. we were vital- living n active. i miss tht kind of spirit. i miss aaron. i miss peter. i miss tim. i miss our burning spirit. i miss our prayer, our pray-reading, our sharing to one another. i miss bible study, rsg, praying for the new ones, the campus n the gospel.

 

Thank You, Lord, for solomon.

 

i knw tht my missing of the churchlife there is just a selfish feeling. i must rmb tht we r one body. in my point of view, the whole world has changed, i miss them so much. but in the Lord's point of view, nothing has changed. the church in dnd is still the church in dnd. the church in north shore is still the church in NS. the insignificant "I" hv merely switched from one place to another, n tht allows me to c the need in this locality. i desparately think we need to be revived n recovered here in NS. there is no right or wrong, but i don't think we shd be satisfied with the current situation. the church needs recovery! but i am just a nothing. i can do nothing. n i am also in need of mercy. as an immature, inexperienced, young sister visiting the church for two n a half weeks, i dare not do anything. it is beyond my limits. i must remain on the cross n persevere in prayer n petition, n let Him, who IS, accomplish His work.