“they’re poisoned, shot, dead, right within ur arms, with warm blood running down ur thigh” the pain of persecution is one of the factors that stops a full-timer from serving. This illustration is not an exaggeration. I hv never had a new one killed. n I duno how it’s like to love a new one so much. But I would imagine tht if one of my new ones were poisoned in such a way, the pain would be this great. Imagine a new born babe, enjoying the Lord with u day by day, watching them grow, then one day poisoned. turns away.  n never returns again... man… tht would really hurt.

Howard higashi could name those ones wiped out at the persecution one by one. He named them by name. “ this one I saved on the campus. Tht one I saved.”  U watch them grow, u watch them enjoy, n one day they’re poisoned n leaves. Turns away from u. turns away from the church. Oh, I cannot imagine the pain. it's like watching ur child killed. The enemy is so cunning. He is so relentless. Ruthless. Cruel.

Brother tim from Austin said, when tht happens, ur heart sinks. His message will not leave my head. It’s deeper n more emotional than those movies I’ve watched in the past. It’s full of impact because it is real. It must hurt so much. I cannot imagine how someone can go on like this. It is by His mercy n grace tht one can continue in this faith hving suffered such persecutions. It is so deep to serve the Lord full-time. N no one understands. only those who hv experienced it. Only the deep calls unto deep.

(2009 team reunion & YP conference- Paul Brisbie & Tim from Austin)